almond flour pizza with figs and gorgonzola

All right, has this ever happened to you? You and your accomplice are running some errands in and around town and you “subconsciously” find yourself on the same street as the Whaddyacallit Bakery & Cafe — you know, the one that sells the thingies that you always order when you go there — and you think to yourselves, okay, we’ll just stop in quickly and get something to go. But the Whatchamajig Bakery, because it is a total den of depravity, has one of those glass display cases with heaps of buttery doodads and flakey thingamabobs and gooey uuhhhhhhs that make you both completely lose your minds and decide to sit down for a spell and order, say, two or three things to “share” (AKA mutually attack).

One of the things you contemplate “sharing” is a phyllo pastry tart with goat cheese and figs and herbs and some viscous sauce that you know tastes like a cross between winning the World Cup and having Radiohead name a song after you. However, at that point, one of you comes to your senses and says, “No, my dear, I can’t eat that. I have already gained ten pounds in the past six months. I should probably just order coffee and cry.” And you do, albeit with a few errant stabs at your tablemate’s quiche. But to prevent you from crying into your overpriced coffee, your accomplice says, “You know, it’s just as well, because we could totally make that at home. And it would be better.”

A few months back I attempted an almond flour crust pizza that was pretty good, but so dense that you could roof a shack with it. This time around, I made the crust a bit thinner, but it was still a force to be reckoned with. I don’t know. Next time I think I might try rice flour or barley flour or email Kim Boyce repeatedly until she offers a better recommendation. It’s not that I’ve completely broken up with wheat — we’re just seeing other people.

Almond Flour Pizza with Arugula, Figs, and Gorgonzola
(Serves two)

Ingredients:
-1 cup almond meal
-2 eggs
-1/4 tsp baking soda
-1/2 tsp salt
-olive oil
-1 clove garlic, minced
-1-2 tbs fresh rosemary, chopped
-1 cup fresh figs, sliced
-1/3 cup Gorgonzola, crumbled
-1/2 cup arugula
-pepper

Preheat the oven to 325°F, and use some of the olive oil to grease a cookie sheet. Mix together the almond meal, eggs, baking soda, and salt. Use a spatula (and, when you get impatient, your greasy fingers) to spread the batter out into a flat rectangle, as close to 1/2-inch thick as you can get it. Sprinkle the garlic and rosemary over the top of the batter and place in the oven for about 5 minutes to create a firm surface for the toppings.

Once the crust is out of the oven, top with the arugula, figs, and Gorgonzola. Bake for another 10 minutes or so, and then turn on the broiler to melt the cheese a bit more (3-5 minutes).

The good news: you have just made gluten-free pizza that looks a lot like the tart from Whatsit Bakery.

The bad news: almond meal has a zillion calories.

The it’s-not-so-bad news: that means it’s delicious.