baked eggs (by JM)

(guest post by JM)

There comes a time in every boy’s life when he must leave childhood’s nest behind. He must step out of the shadows of siblings, away from the watchful eyes of legal guardians, and trample the delicate shell of youth as he enters a world of unknowns. On his journey he must follow paths through wreck and ruin, through despair and grief, and through loneliness and desperation. It is a long and dark odyssey, manipulated by heavy handed and vengeful gods.

There will be moments when the shoreline of adulthood seems all but lost, when no compass can point to safety, when the waters’ surface is littered with bones and the beacon upon the hill is devoured by thick fog. In such uncertain times, a boy must draw upon the wisdom and guidance of an ancient breakfast known only as Baked Eggs. Its ostensibly complex appearance will appease the loveliest of the gods (whom Bacchanalia has left huddled under heavy blankets in the darkened bedroom), though its simplicity ensures that safe passage will be granted to the weariest of travelers.

-An Oven
-A Ramekin, or some sort of small baking dish (girls usually have these, so try and find one—they are pretty, and tend to have longer hair and softer lips)
-Tomato Sauce (make your own by punching some tomatoes and karate chopping some onions and garlic)
-Random stuff from the spice rack, cheese drawer and herb garden (again, try and find a girl…)

Don’t panic. Preparing this only takes a couple of minutes, and then you just wait around for the oven (preheated to 350) to do something. First, melt butter and spread it around the bottom and sides of the ramekin. Then pour a thick layer of tomato sauce into it. Chop up some herbs (I used rosemary here) and stir it into the sauce. Crack the egg and very carefully place the contents on top of the tomato sauce (be careful not to drop the egg from too great a height or it will sink right into the sauce and be lost forever). Put some salt and pepper on top of that, and then put the ramekin into the oven.

Baking should take somewhere between ten and fifteen minutes. Check on the egg after ten minutes: the white should appear hard and opaque. Once it’s done, take it out of the oven and put a little bit of cheese on top (I used feta), add some more herbs (again I used rosemary and added some caraway seeds), and more salt and pepper. Donezo.


5 thoughts on “baked eggs (by JM)

  1. The writing in this post has surrounded me like an egg dropped from too high a height into a puddle of tomato sauce. Really great. I will definitely be baking eggs this weekend.

  2. Or actually, I guess the writing is more like the tomato sauce than like the egg. I’m the egg. Forget it. I’ll just bake the eggs and ignore the fact that I can’t write similes.

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