I am a big proponent of the 11am weekday lunch. Most days I wake up around 6, so the usual early afternoon repast would put me way beyond the rolling hills of hunger, past the tundra of despair, and well into the desert of psychosis. The problem, of course, is that early lunch is one of the first signs of aging — one day you’re innocently eating a sandwich before noon, and then suddenly you wake up cheek-deep in your early bird special, surrounded by crusty old men in ill-fitting trousers who won’t stop yelling about how much they loved Dave Matthews Band when they were in college. And as we all know from reading those magazines at the dentist’s office, the best way to combat the signs of aging is to lie.
It’s not gray hair, it’s highlights.
It’s not a facelift, it’s rest.
It’s not lunch, it’s lunchfast.
I know what you’re going to say. You’re going to tell me that the word is brunch, and that someone invented this idea already, and that I’m not as clever as I think I am. My response is that you should go back to grooving to your Dave Matthews bootlegs and leave my delusion alone. Besides, lunchfast is totally different than brunch. It doesn’t require eggs or other breakfasty foods, it doesn’t provide an excuse for getting drunk in the morning, and it doesn’t involve enormous portions. Instead, lunchfast is a glorified coffee break. It’s a way to say to yourself, ‘Self, you’ve been up for five hours and it’s not even noon. You’ve got a long way to go, so why don’t you kick it with some tea and a crescent roll while you map out how the rest of this Thursday slog is going to go?’
Stuffed Crescent Rolls
-whatever’s in the fridge (I used leftover roasted beets, yams, and turnips)
-cheese (I used ricotta, mixed with a little mascarpone)
-a tube of refrigerated crescent roll dough (mine is from Trader Joe’s)
Put the oven on 350, and break out that cookie sheet. Take whatever leftovers you’ve got and puree them. Open the tube of dough and separate out the triangles. Spread some cheese on the dough, add a dollop of puree, and festoon with a few spinach or arugula leaves to make it look like you give a damn. Fold two edges of the triangle over the center to make an adorable little pocket. Isn’t it darling? Now put it in the oven for about 15 minutes, until the edges start to brown. Boom, you’re done. You barely even lifted a finger, and you’re a total lunchfast star.